5 senses: smell

The unmistakable scent drifts by;
a mix of acid tear drops,
bits of anger,
and pieces of hate,
all strung together with a fuck you and a I don't care.
The stench makes me sick to my stomach.
I gag.
I keel over.
It's too much!
I...
can't...
Take...
It...!

Even as the tarty "just deal" and the sweetness of "moving on" starts taking over, it lingers, taking its time.

Then it passes by
and in its wake leaves
an outburst of smiles,
a sense of peace,
and a feeling of joy,
all flowing together with a I love me.
So now, I can take my time again, and smell the roses

5 senses: Sight

"I see you" you said.
I, the mystery within a mystery.
"I doubt it", I told you, intrigued by the audacity of the words you spoke
"Knowing me will change your life"you stressed confidently.
I laughed, similar words had been spoken many times.
"How?"I still asked
"I'll open your eyes to wondrous delights" You promised
"Go ahead and try" I challenged.
I hid so well, sometimes I couldn't find me.
"You'll love every minute of it' You teased.
And I did, and you did, and my life was made so much better, because what happened was - I saw you

Five senses: Hearing

My love, listen, I have things to say.
But I'll whisper it low in your ear.
For it's things that are only for you to hear.
I want to kiss your lips softly, nibble gently, and coax them open with my inquisitive tongue, on a search for the secrets at the tip of yours.
I'll willingly look deep into your beautiful eyes, as they shoot bullets of desire into my helpless mind.
Let me caress you.
Everywhere.
Anywhere.
So heat like wild fire can spread through your wanting body.
Wanting only me.
Right here, right now.
Say "Yes!"
Let me fulfil desires hidden and unleash screams unheard.
Listen to these words I speak;
The beat of my heart;
The shortness of your breath...
And just this once.
Give me you.
All of you.

I was wondering

I don't want to be in a relationship, just for the sake of being with someone, but I want someone to hold me, someone to kiss me, someone to miss me.
So I settle, knowing that I'm not strong enough, to just be alone.
You’d never guess that I've watched, I've waited, and I’ve wanted... only you.

I was wondering...
If you care?
If you want?
If you dream?
If you hurt?
If you know?
I was just wondering.

Do I kick myself for being such a coward or do I convince myself that we were probably never meant to be?
So much wasted time!
Sometimes I wonder if it's really you I fell for, or my idea of what I thought you were?
Whatever! No amount of red wine can change the fact that you were never really mine

I was wondering...
Why I care?
Why I want?
Why I dream?
Why I hurt?
Why I never let you know?
I was just wondering.

I've spent years wanting to be loved; by you. I thought that you were my “someone special”. I now see, that I had someone special all along, but didn't notice, cause I was too busy loving you… No more

.

5 senses: Taste

Quench my thirst.
Feed my hunger.
Oh delicious anticipation,
Mouth watering satisfaction,
Sweet Gratification.
Lick my lips,
Bite my tongue.
I can't
I must
Can I?
Just once...
Maybe twice

5 senses: Touch

Blissful sensations spread slowly through my body.
Sexual,
Beautiful...
Mmm, simply delightful!
I feel it,
I embrace it,
I love it!
So much from so little.
Gasping,
acknowledging,
feeling.
Do it again!
Don't stop!
I dare you to tell me you don't feel this too.

By your side

I'm drawn to you in mysterious ways, whether surrounded by your essence or enthralled in your presence.
Every night I ache for you deep within my soul.
And tears fill my eyes but it's my heart that weeps.
My mind replays the moments throughout the day, and very often it makes me smile I have to say.
Why did you take me to great heights and show me wondrous treasures, and then leave me in this place alone, searching and waiting, wondering and hoping.
Can't you see it all means nothing without you?
Yes I see that you can see.
You know exactly what I mean.
All this, you feel it too.
One day we'll find our way again back to our nirvana.
I've searched through many lifetimes to find you.
So there's no way that in this, I'm gonna let you go!

Survival:

My inspiration,
My sanity,
My pride,
My heart,
My faith,
My hope,
My worth,
My all:
I'm taking it back, one piece at a time.

9 Things

I thank you
I know you
I trust you
I serve you
I treasure you
I miss you
I appreciate you
I love you
I'll always be there for you

Three Kisses

The first one was sweet. A greeting. We discovered and uncovered and laughed and cried. We took everything apart and pieced it all together. Surprise and intrigue kept us coming back for the simple pleasures and the deep delights. And we thanked god for the blessing. And I called you my friend.

The second one was coy. An awakening. We pushed boundaries and climbed heights sans editing. We smiled and frowned. Joked around and had our share of ups and downs. Addictions, I miss you's, fan clubs and bliss. Recognition and affection kept us finding each other, both sides of the same coin. And we thanked god for the special gift. And I called you my soul mate.

The third one was divine. Inevitable after the comfortable realisation that reality was the same - no better than, any thing imagined. Stripped bare, yet still hiding behind an armour. There's love, fear and dare I say desire. Distance and closeness and honesty and that feeling of cautious we both know so well. And we thank god for the potential. And one day, when I'm yours, I'll call you mine.

xxx

I Miss You

I miss hearing about your day. The little randoms that made you mad or that made you smile. The lol's even when you're probably not really loling. The way we think the same. Having someone wish me a good night, when it's morning for them. The characteristics of your personality that draw me to you, and those that match with mine. Our virtual travelling around the world, or the playfulness, which is always fun. The blue glow and the greek. Over analysing with you on the things that confuse. The way you open up my eyes to new things, new perspectives, new ideas. The great conversation - varied, deep, silly, which always makes my day. These are just a few of the reasons why I miss you; my dear friend.

Used to love

I hate how you've made me feel so worthless.
I hate that you've got me questioning everything I held so dear
I hate the fact that you never felt as much as I did
I hate the tears, outside some random pub
I hate the memories because everything that used to make me happy now just makes me sad
I hate the distance
I hate that I saw something in us you never did
I hate that you said you'd never fight for me, for us
I hate that I could never hate you, because right now it would make this easier.
I hate that I hate because I used to love

Letting go

Memories I've collected kept in a special place under the gold coins at the end of the rainbow. I used to return to them from time to time,
Piece them together like a puzzle, Read them like a beautiful poem, Listen to them like a sweet song,
Watch them like a movie,
Paint them like a picture,
Moments of laughter,
Days of discovery
An awakening
A fusion
Our soul's recognition
Maybe it was just me alone in a dream? You don't seem to have the same haunts, its all apparently forgotten, a small insignificant moment in passing.
You coward! Fuck you! Not even the pretence of a fight to keep it.
Willing to just let it all fade away.
Something so incredible, I considered it a blessing, reduced to nothing.
My gift became a curse.
Well like you've done, I'm going to say good bye to this. So here's me letting go

The naked truth

What's love? I thought I knew but clearly I have no clue. It used to be that being in love was a mixture of corny cliques. You never understand that fully until you actually experience the feeling. It's not the big grand gestures, or the unrealistic promises. It's the little things. A long lingering touch, the locking of eyes in a captivating look, the smiles at thoughts, the way your heart sings and your soul soars. Memories collected. Discovering someone and the marvellous realisation that there would always be more to discover. The spark, the butterflies. You feel it all.
Thought I had that with you, and almost had that with you and I definitely had that with you.
There's pain too - the pieces of your heart trampled on by insensitive feet, body curled up shaking, tears burning a trail down your cheeks as you think the person who brought you to this hell is the only who can take away the pain. When words cut through flesh like razors, and you're left bleeding, torn... What was my question again? Fuck it! Or is it fuck you!? And you. And you... No, I'll make a toast instead - here's to the next one, perhaps you'll help me answer my question.

What this woman wants

You press me to your chest and console me when I'm sad.
You hold my hand and reassure me when I'm afraid.
You wipe my tears and convince me everything will be okay when I'm down.
You relax me when I'm stressed.
You make me laugh with your type of humour.
You have me smiling when you take me with you on your flights of fancy. Your imagination so like mine ensures that beyond the sky is the limit.
You would fight for me and remain by my side no matter what.
Your varied conversation intrigues me.
You push boundaries and probe delightfully.
You unhinge me cleverly and get me to reveal myself.
Your kisses make my toes curl.
Your touch sends shivers down my spine.
You make me feel alive in every way.
You show me in many ways how much I mean to you.
You see me, all of me, when no one else can or cares to look.
You know me; the real me.
You share with me and not just the good bits.
You accept me for who I am.
You teach me things I never knew.
You remember me; the memories we make are not easily forgotten.
You appeal to me; inside and out.
You heal me, with your inner strength, when I've lost faith in my own.
You give advice and take advice, and see the reason why both are important.
You talk with me and not to me, and we work things out honestly.
You understand or try to because our view points differ from time to time.
You recognise the importance of me being in your life.
You are sure, there is no confusion.
You love me unconditionally, completely, deeply.
You are the best person you can be, not because of me, but because of us.
 
But the key is, I do the same for you.
It's not a one sided thing.
It's equal give and take.
It's something significant.
It's my definition of a great love.
 
Impossible some might say.
I had this once, I argue.
For a split second - gone so fast, I wonder if maybe my heart imagined it all, but my soul tells me; I had this.
 
Knowing that this is possible, I can't settle for anything less. So I throw this question out there to the world, with a silent plea to fate, and a continued prayer.
Where is this person?
 
And to the person, I have this to say.
If this is you...
Tell me,
Show me,
Prove it!
 
That's what this woman wants