Once upon a dream

I've found you!; my heart shouts.
I feel it too; my body agrees.
How can you be sure?; my mind asks.
I just know; my soul explains.

Crossroads

I'm in way too deep. Do I stay here drowning blissfully and risk losing my mind, myself, my heart, and my soul? Or do I claw my way out of the abyss and surrender to the possible reality of being dragged through a lifeless existence without you? Either way I'm doomed.

Clueless

These thoughts in my head are confusing. Am I being pushed further away from who I am, or being guided to the who I should be? These things that I see are astounding. Are they blinding me or offering clarity? These feelings that I feel are seductive in their intensity. Is it an illusion or a dream come true? Are the questions that I ask, leading me to the answers that I seek? Or am I still just as clueless as before?

Replaceable

I can no longer deny my feelings. I've never felt like this for anyone in my life, that's how I know that you're the one. Sadly I know that to you I am just another like all the others, easily replaced. Regardless, I keep sinking deeper and deeper into this vortex of feelings and emotions. It hurts. Damn, it hurts. There's my heart in pieces at your feet. But its a pain I'll willingly endure if it means that I can be with you just a while longer. The helpless romantic in me thinks that maybe in time you can grow to love me, and realise that I'm everything you've been searching for. The cynic shatters all illusions telling me it's only a fantasy, and that I should accept defeat, and move on... Some day I'm going to have to let you go. Teary eyed I accept my fate. Some things are just not meant to be.

the question

We lay side by side, in silence staring into each other's eyes. I have many questions about life and love and all the answers were there for me to see. There was no need for words, because I sensed deep within that you felt the same way. So dangerous this thing I feel; so consuming. Sometimes it feels like it's taken over all of me. My head, my heart, my soul. I wish I knew how to deal. I lost myself then when I looked in your eyes. I fell fast. I'm still falling. I have to know - how can you not feel it too?

Pieces of me

Writing for me is not an option. I love swinging on vines of imagination, where anything is possible. Where I can be deep, dark and edgy or casual light and breezy or even weird and quirky. Where my tears shine like rain drops, my smiles brighten the world. Where I can feel and think and want and need sans judgement. Where I can break. Where I can heal. Its a place within that frightens me even when it makes me feel the most safe. What you read is not my reality. I am my writing but my writing is not me.

The Gift & The Curse

Facing the fire, afraid of getting burnt. Overwhelmed by the desire. Consumed by the need that's taken over me. My mind's a hazy mess of thoughts of you. But I will forget it. My heart feels like a volcano overflowing with emotions. But I will ignore it. Feelings, so many feelings penetrating my soul. But I will fight it. I ache in the pit of my stomach, as all the possibilities my imagination conjures up drives me crazy. But I will stop it. Dangerous yet safe. Engulfed completely yet completely grounded. This is how it always is with us; doomed to live an eternity falling in love, but never having a happy ending. Different life times, different circumstances, always the same connection. From the day you came into my life, its always been you, you've always been the one. I can no longer deny it, but I will hide it. History repeats itself, but I don't have the power yet to change it. Maybe next lifetime.

New beginnings

Today is the beginning of a new chapter. I will look at the past with my eyes shut, and the memories I'll forever treasure. But I will look to the future with my eyes open. The lessons have been learnt. And even though my questions have resulted... in more questions, the one thing I know for sure; now is the time to start living.

The Lesson

I was yours but you were never really mine
My mind dreamt you up in a vibrant fantasy
So good that my soul rejoiced in the most sweetest of symphonies
Is it any wonder my heart soared to places beyond this reality?
Or that I ached for your caresses?
Longed for your kisses?
Wanted nothing more than to be a part of your world?
Forlorn I feared that I would never find you
Reluctantly I accepted the fact that maybe I had, but that I could never have you
And then you turned to me and whispered the words “I’m yours”

The Teaching

Take me to the places in the heights of your imagination.
Show me the depths of your soul.
Move me in the ways your mind coincides with mine.
Rouse me as your passion embraces the essence of my being.
Learn me from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.
Comfort me with the warmth of your spirit.
Calm me with your peaceful aura.
Protect me with your strength of character.
Seduce me with the allure of your charms.
Please me in the way you fill all my empty spaces.
Do this for me and I'm yours.

dreaming of me; dreaming of life; dreaming of you...

I dream in swirls of pink and purple – it inspires me.
I dream in hues of blue and green – it soothes me.
I dream in shades of red and orange – it completely takes over me.
I dream; and as I dream I am surrounded by this kaleidoscope of colour.
And it is at this time, that I feel the most alive.

Dazed & confused - the good life

Confusion sets in. Wait, I thought I had all the answers. Or at least I thought I had a clue where I was headed, and what it was I wanted. But that path doesn’t seem so right for me anymore. Not now when my mind is open to all these new possibilities, new places, new faces, new opportunities… I still don’t know what this life has in store for me, but one thing I do know, is that right now - I’m loving every minute of finding out.

Destination unknown

I’ve realized during my search for answers; for love; for passion; for ambition; for inspiration; for purpose, that the moments I’ve come across on my journey, both good and bad, are equally important. Too often I get deluded by the possibilities, and focus on nothing else. So I’m stuck in one place, looking for someone or something to tell me whether to build on it, or to just simply move on. Now I see, that only I can choose which road to take to reach my destination. Moments of clarity reveal, that even though I still may not know where I’ll end up, what I do know, is that at this particular moment, I’m on the right path

At this time, in this place...

Happiness is a funny thing. You revel in it, but always there at the back of your mind, are those negative thoughts - “How long before something messes it all up?” The key is trying to stay positive. That and never failing to be thankful for your blessings.
D.C.

Decisions

I feel the need to be free in my thoughts, words and actions.
No longer can I deny that caged is not a satisfactory state.
Still I'm torn between doing the right thing in the circumstances, and doing what I feel is right for me.
Some day I'll have to make the choice
One day I'll have to choose me
Some day...
One day...
Soon

... But you do

Nonchalant is the emotion I choose to show, even though my feelings are far from indifferent. I refuse to admit how you've always made me feel. So I pretend that you do not matter to me...

Pause

Once the lesson is learnt, there's no use harping on the details. However, I'll allow myself this night, to mourn all that I've buried deep inside - the choices, the consequences, the mistakes, the regrets, the pain...
Tomorrow I'll be strong again, selected memory in place, ready to face the world, smile intact.

second chances

Some people say that you can find strength from a moment of weakness. I like the idea that a moment of weakness need not be the end of something, but actually a new beginning... A chance to start over.

Behind the scenes

I never knew that I had the power within me to make changes in my life; changes that have made me a better person. I was so afraid to take that next step; so wary of the clouds, that I forgot how the rays of sunlight could actually shine through.

I always had the power within me, but I could not have done it without you. You helped me see; you believed in me; you supported me; you showed me that being the best, meant that I just had to be me. For that I’ll always be grateful.