I was wondering

I don't want to be in a relationship, just for the sake of being with someone, but I want someone to hold me, someone to kiss me, someone to miss me.
So I settle, knowing that I'm not strong enough, to just be alone.
You’d never guess that I've watched, I've waited, and I’ve wanted... only you.

I was wondering...
If you care?
If you want?
If you dream?
If you hurt?
If you know?
I was just wondering.

Do I kick myself for being such a coward or do I convince myself that we were probably never meant to be?
So much wasted time!
Sometimes I wonder if it's really you I fell for, or my idea of what I thought you were?
Whatever! No amount of red wine can change the fact that you were never really mine

I was wondering...
Why I care?
Why I want?
Why I dream?
Why I hurt?
Why I never let you know?
I was just wondering.

I've spent years wanting to be loved; by you. I thought that you were my “someone special”. I now see, that I had someone special all along, but didn't notice, cause I was too busy loving you… No more

.

5 senses: Taste

Quench my thirst.
Feed my hunger.
Oh delicious anticipation,
Mouth watering satisfaction,
Sweet Gratification.
Lick my lips,
Bite my tongue.
I can't
I must
Can I?
Just once...
Maybe twice

5 senses: Touch

Blissful sensations spread slowly through my body.
Sexual,
Beautiful...
Mmm, simply delightful!
I feel it,
I embrace it,
I love it!
So much from so little.
Gasping,
acknowledging,
feeling.
Do it again!
Don't stop!
I dare you to tell me you don't feel this too.

By your side

I'm drawn to you in mysterious ways, whether surrounded by your essence or enthralled in your presence.
Every night I ache for you deep within my soul.
And tears fill my eyes but it's my heart that weeps.
My mind replays the moments throughout the day, and very often it makes me smile I have to say.
Why did you take me to great heights and show me wondrous treasures, and then leave me in this place alone, searching and waiting, wondering and hoping.
Can't you see it all means nothing without you?
Yes I see that you can see.
You know exactly what I mean.
All this, you feel it too.
One day we'll find our way again back to our nirvana.
I've searched through many lifetimes to find you.
So there's no way that in this, I'm gonna let you go!

Survival:

My inspiration,
My sanity,
My pride,
My heart,
My faith,
My hope,
My worth,
My all:
I'm taking it back, one piece at a time.

9 Things

I thank you
I know you
I trust you
I serve you
I treasure you
I miss you
I appreciate you
I love you
I'll always be there for you

Three Kisses

The first one was sweet. A greeting. We discovered and uncovered and laughed and cried. We took everything apart and pieced it all together. Surprise and intrigue kept us coming back for the simple pleasures and the deep delights. And we thanked god for the blessing. And I called you my friend.

The second one was coy. An awakening. We pushed boundaries and climbed heights sans editing. We smiled and frowned. Joked around and had our share of ups and downs. Addictions, I miss you's, fan clubs and bliss. Recognition and affection kept us finding each other, both sides of the same coin. And we thanked god for the special gift. And I called you my soul mate.

The third one was divine. Inevitable after the comfortable realisation that reality was the same - no better than, any thing imagined. Stripped bare, yet still hiding behind an armour. There's love, fear and dare I say desire. Distance and closeness and honesty and that feeling of cautious we both know so well. And we thank god for the potential. And one day, when I'm yours, I'll call you mine.

xxx

I Miss You

I miss hearing about your day. The little randoms that made you mad or that made you smile. The lol's even when you're probably not really loling. The way we think the same. Having someone wish me a good night, when it's morning for them. The characteristics of your personality that draw me to you, and those that match with mine. Our virtual travelling around the world, or the playfulness, which is always fun. The blue glow and the greek. Over analysing with you on the things that confuse. The way you open up my eyes to new things, new perspectives, new ideas. The great conversation - varied, deep, silly, which always makes my day. These are just a few of the reasons why I miss you; my dear friend.