I hate how you've made me feel so worthless.
I hate that you've got me questioning everything I held so dear
I hate the fact that you never felt as much as I did
I hate the tears, outside some random pub
I hate the memories because everything that used to make me happy now just makes me sad
I hate the distance
I hate that I saw something in us you never did
I hate that you said you'd never fight for me, for us
I hate that I could never hate you, because right now it would make this easier.
I hate that I hate because I used to love
Monday, May 23
Letting go
Memories I've collected kept in a special place under the gold coins at the end of the rainbow. I used to return to them from time to time,
Piece them together like a puzzle, Read them like a beautiful poem, Listen to them like a sweet song,
Watch them like a movie,
Paint them like a picture,
Moments of laughter,
Days of discovery
An awakening
A fusion
Our soul's recognition
Maybe it was just me alone in a dream? You don't seem to have the same haunts, its all apparently forgotten, a small insignificant moment in passing.
You coward! Fuck you! Not even the pretence of a fight to keep it.
Willing to just let it all fade away.
Something so incredible, I considered it a blessing, reduced to nothing.
My gift became a curse.
Well like you've done, I'm going to say good bye to this. So here's me letting go
Piece them together like a puzzle, Read them like a beautiful poem, Listen to them like a sweet song,
Watch them like a movie,
Paint them like a picture,
Moments of laughter,
Days of discovery
An awakening
A fusion
Our soul's recognition
Maybe it was just me alone in a dream? You don't seem to have the same haunts, its all apparently forgotten, a small insignificant moment in passing.
You coward! Fuck you! Not even the pretence of a fight to keep it.
Willing to just let it all fade away.
Something so incredible, I considered it a blessing, reduced to nothing.
My gift became a curse.
Well like you've done, I'm going to say good bye to this. So here's me letting go
Friday, May 13
The naked truth
What's love? I thought I knew but clearly I have no clue. It used to be that being in love was a mixture of corny cliques. You never understand that fully until you actually experience the feeling. It's not the big grand gestures, or the unrealistic promises. It's the little things. A long lingering touch, the locking of eyes in a captivating look, the smiles at thoughts, the way your heart sings and your soul soars. Memories collected. Discovering someone and the marvellous realisation that there would always be more to discover. The spark, the butterflies. You feel it all.
Thought I had that with you, and almost had that with you and I definitely had that with you.
There's pain too - the pieces of your heart trampled on by insensitive feet, body curled up shaking, tears burning a trail down your cheeks as you think the person who brought you to this hell is the only who can take away the pain. When words cut through flesh like razors, and you're left bleeding, torn... What was my question again? Fuck it! Or is it fuck you!? And you. And you... No, I'll make a toast instead - here's to the next one, perhaps you'll help me answer my question.
Thought I had that with you, and almost had that with you and I definitely had that with you.
There's pain too - the pieces of your heart trampled on by insensitive feet, body curled up shaking, tears burning a trail down your cheeks as you think the person who brought you to this hell is the only who can take away the pain. When words cut through flesh like razors, and you're left bleeding, torn... What was my question again? Fuck it! Or is it fuck you!? And you. And you... No, I'll make a toast instead - here's to the next one, perhaps you'll help me answer my question.
What this woman wants
You press me to your chest and console me when I'm sad.
You hold my hand and reassure me when I'm afraid.
You wipe my tears and convince me everything will be okay when I'm down.
You relax me when I'm stressed.
You make me laugh with your type of humour.
You have me smiling when you take me with you on your flights of fancy. Your imagination so like mine ensures that beyond the sky is the limit.
You would fight for me and remain by my side no matter what.
Your varied conversation intrigues me.
You push boundaries and probe delightfully.
You unhinge me cleverly and get me to reveal myself.
Your kisses make my toes curl.
Your touch sends shivers down my spine.
You make me feel alive in every way.
You show me in many ways how much I mean to you.
You see me, all of me, when no one else can or cares to look.
You know me; the real me.
You share with me and not just the good bits.
You accept me for who I am.
You teach me things I never knew.
You remember me; the memories we make are not easily forgotten.
You appeal to me; inside and out.
You heal me, with your inner strength, when I've lost faith in my own.
You give advice and take advice, and see the reason why both are important.
You talk with me and not to me, and we work things out honestly.
You understand or try to because our view points differ from time to time.
You recognise the importance of me being in your life.
You are sure, there is no confusion.
You love me unconditionally, completely, deeply.
You are the best person you can be, not because of me, but because of us.
But the key is, I do the same for you.
It's not a one sided thing.
It's equal give and take.
It's something significant.
It's my definition of a great love.
Impossible some might say.
I had this once, I argue.
For a split second - gone so fast, I wonder if maybe my heart imagined it all, but my soul tells me; I had this.
Knowing that this is possible, I can't settle for anything less. So I throw this question out there to the world, with a silent plea to fate, and a continued prayer.
Where is this person?
And to the person, I have this to say.
If this is you...
Tell me,
Show me,
Prove it!
That's what this woman wants
You hold my hand and reassure me when I'm afraid.
You wipe my tears and convince me everything will be okay when I'm down.
You relax me when I'm stressed.
You make me laugh with your type of humour.
You have me smiling when you take me with you on your flights of fancy. Your imagination so like mine ensures that beyond the sky is the limit.
You would fight for me and remain by my side no matter what.
Your varied conversation intrigues me.
You push boundaries and probe delightfully.
You unhinge me cleverly and get me to reveal myself.
Your kisses make my toes curl.
Your touch sends shivers down my spine.
You make me feel alive in every way.
You show me in many ways how much I mean to you.
You see me, all of me, when no one else can or cares to look.
You know me; the real me.
You share with me and not just the good bits.
You accept me for who I am.
You teach me things I never knew.
You remember me; the memories we make are not easily forgotten.
You appeal to me; inside and out.
You heal me, with your inner strength, when I've lost faith in my own.
You give advice and take advice, and see the reason why both are important.
You talk with me and not to me, and we work things out honestly.
You understand or try to because our view points differ from time to time.
You recognise the importance of me being in your life.
You are sure, there is no confusion.
You love me unconditionally, completely, deeply.
You are the best person you can be, not because of me, but because of us.
But the key is, I do the same for you.
It's not a one sided thing.
It's equal give and take.
It's something significant.
It's my definition of a great love.
Impossible some might say.
I had this once, I argue.
For a split second - gone so fast, I wonder if maybe my heart imagined it all, but my soul tells me; I had this.
Knowing that this is possible, I can't settle for anything less. So I throw this question out there to the world, with a silent plea to fate, and a continued prayer.
Where is this person?
And to the person, I have this to say.
If this is you...
Tell me,
Show me,
Prove it!
That's what this woman wants
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