Words cut and penetrate and the pain forces me to my knees. Bound and caged by imaginary chains and walls, that keep me here. I'm getting up and coming back for more, each and every time. Whispering "Take some more". Silly me, I think I can handle it. Why not? I'm strong enough, balanced enough, I can get back on my feet. I can shield it off, deal if I so choose. Can't I? Look how well I'm doing?... Look how well I can pretend. I'm withering, and I'm dying inside, and I'm fading into nothingness. And I don't want to be in nothingness. Yet still I keep coming back for more...
Because I've seen the other side. I've had words caress and illuminate and the joy lifted me up off the ground. It was free will and the gentle tug of my heart that kept me here. I stayed and only wanted more bliss each and every time. Whispering "Everything that I am, is yours". Silly me, I thought I could make you see it. Why not? I'm sweet enough, beautiful enough, I could sweep you off your feet. I could get past the shield, show you I'm the real deal. Look how well we fit... I don't have to pretend. I'm soaring, and alive inside, and emerging into completeness. And I want to be in completeness. This is why I keep coming back for more...
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There’s so much to look forward to, each day is a gift, and I’m grateful for the blessings, both big and small. I’m still looking for answers, still searching for my place in this world, still reaching for the stars; always dreaming...
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