Delirious

I fall into the abyss everyday. Somedays it's a gradual fall and I lay on my back arms outstretched as I drift down. Other days it's a sharp descent that takes my breath away. There are days that I'm lost there, wondering what and why and I focus all my attention on ways to get out, only to find that once I'm out it takes only minutes until I'm falling again. Most days I want to stay there forever surrounded by all the precious illusions. I wish I could define it, I wish it made sense. But I can't and it doesn't.