... But you do

Nonchalant is the emotion I choose to show, even though my feelings are far from indifferent. I refuse to admit how you've always made me feel. So I pretend that you do not matter to me...

Pause

Once the lesson is learnt, there's no use harping on the details. However, I'll allow myself this night, to mourn all that I've buried deep inside - the choices, the consequences, the mistakes, the regrets, the pain...
Tomorrow I'll be strong again, selected memory in place, ready to face the world, smile intact.